Catholic Herald

My sister loves Easter morning. Now a married adult, she still appreciates brightly colored baskets, jellybeans, and pastel Easter eggs as much as she did as a child. Her attachment to our childhood traditions reminds me how indelibly joyful these memories can be.

Yet these images of Easter celebration follow days of sacrifice. On the First Sunday of Lent, we hear Luke’s description of Jesus’ time in the desert, and we are urged to turn away from sin and follow Him.  We make sacrifices and lifestyle changes in order to, as Pope Benedict XVI described in his 2009 Lenten message, “heal all that prevents [us] from conformity to the will of God.” With the help of God’s grace, we face our own temptations and empty ourselves to make room for faith and love.

Because we experience Lenten darkness, we can better appreciate the Easter light. Just as Jesus rose from the dead, we too experience new life on Easter Sunday, and we decorate our homes with corresponding signs.

In his 2009 Holy Saturday homily, Pope Benedict focused on three symbols: light, water, and the Alleluia. For parents seeking to make Easter joy tangible for children, these symbols speak the “light of the world,” the “water of true life,” and the source of all joy. In addition to Easter baskets, decorating the home with symbols of light, water, and new life can create an atmosphere of rebirth. Consider asking a priest to bless your home or placing a vase of Easter lilies near an image or statue of the Blessed Mother. Physical changes in the home can help kids conceptualize spiritual transfiguration.

For parents, Easter offers the perfect opportunity to resume with gusto our efforts to live balanced, Christ-centered lives. Lisa Hendey, creator of CatholicMom.com, believes that — in addition to decorating for the liturgical year — parents teach their children to love the faith by trying to live as “happy, productive, and selfless models of Christ’s love incarnate.” To take on such a responsibility, parents must regularly seek the ways that Jesus wants to renew them in their vocation. In her new book, The Handbook for Catholic Moms, Lisa explains that our “larger family,” our Catholic Church, gives us “many of the tools necessary to refresh and renew our souls.”

Too often, we parents lose our compasses. Worn down by the demands of laundry and taxes, diapers and expense reports, we can become complacent about caring for our own hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. As Lisa explains, though, we need to seek the ways that Jesus wants to renew us, “so that we have the energy, spirit, and peaceful souls to help take care of those who fill our homes and lives.”

Easter is our time for spiritual spring cleaning. Just as children eagerly await the iconic experiences of the Easter season, we parents can look forward to the peace and gratitude we feel as we sweep away the parts of ourselves that Jesus wants us to leave behind and discover the new paths that He has set for us this year. Lent leads us to this Easter season of joy and rebirth; we owe it to ourselves and our families to embrace the opportunity.

Christmas trees, nativity scenes, gingerbread — all seem to serve as built-in visual aids for the season of Advent, offering kids some tangible connections with this journey of joyful hope. Following on the heels of such a richly sensory experience, the spare, simple season of Lent initially seems less approachable. Can children really understand the intimidating themes of penance, prayer, and sacrifice that characterize the Lenten season?

The Catechism describes Lent as the primary penitential season in the liturgical year. Just as Jesus spent forty days praying and fasting in the desert, Catholics spend the days of Lent preparing spiritually to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday. The feast of Easter represents the foundational event of the Catholic faith, so a time of preparation is a must for the whole family. Yet the spirituality of Lent can be a challenge for both children and adults to grasp.

Peter and Catherine Fournier, authors of “Lent and Easter in the Domestic Church,” believe that Lent offers a wonderful opportunity to teach kids about the central mysteries of the Catholic faith. At their Web site, http://www.domestic-church.com, the Fourniers provide a variety of Lenten activities designed to help children access the spirit of the season.

Lent can be challenging for kids when it feels too intense or too abstract. The Fourniers encourage parents to bring the themes of prayer and sacrifice down to a level that children will understand. Parents can begin by presenting the season of Lent as a time of preparation.

“We prepare for lots of activities,” Catherine Fournier points out. “We write a grocery list before heading to the store. We put on a coat before going outside.”

As children think about the ways that they prepare for important events in their own lives, they can begin to see penance, fasting, prayer, and almsgiving as ways to prepare the heart for Easter.

To emphasize this spirit of preparation and clearly establish a connection between church and home, parents can try making a noticeable change in the appearance of the home. Make this year’s Lent the time that you set up a special prayer table to focus family devotions. Add a new icon or Lenten activity to make visible the spiritual themes of Lent.

To fulfill the same purpose, Peter and Catherine Fournier recommend an activity called “stripping the home.” They remove decorative furnishings until the Easter season, reminding the entire family that, as Peter Fournier describes, “We are stripping away anything unimportant and preparing for the important.”

Making such changes teaches children how to live the faith day to day. Preparing a meatless meal, offering an extra donation to the poor, or praying through a children’s Stations of the Cross activity will help kids internalize the connection between belief and action. Integrated into the life of the family, these activities become a lived expression of our Catholic faith.

More important than any activities, though, is the example parents set for their children. “The real opportunity of Lent,” Peter Fournier explains, “is to communicate to children that the parents think Lent is important.”

When parents embrace a spirit of Lenten preparation, their actions teach children that they take the faith seriously. None of the ways of explaining the beauty of Lent comes close to the model of a parent’s desire to grow in faith. An act of loving prayer or service may communicate the faith in ways that words or activities do not. To really help your children appreciate the spiritual journey through Lent, show them that you are embarking upon the journey yourself.

Your kids probably won’t tell you that the best gift you ever gave them was a good marriage. But you can bet it will be true.
In 2005, the United States Council of Catholic Bishops began the “For Your Marriage” national pastoral initiative. A new website (ForYourMarriage.org) and radio and TV advertisements offered practical, marriage-strengthening resources for dioceses, parishes, and couples themselves.

Why would such an initiative be necessary? Because research shows that children raised by two married parents with a strong, respectful commitment are physically and emotionally healthier than children of divorced parents or children raised in a high-conflict setting.

Marriage matters because, as Pope John Paul II said in Familiaris Consortio, the “future of humanity passes by way of the family.” A committed union between a man and a woman displays God’s plan for human life and models the life-giving and self-giving love that renew a society.

In a November 2009 pastoral letter called “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan,” the United States Council of Catholic Bishops reiterated the consistent Catholic teaching that marriage is an exclusive, intimate union that “cannot be dissolved by the will of the spouses.” Authored by God, marriage and conjugal love establish a unique sharing of persons that results in “special gifts of grace and divine love.”

Sheila Garcia, Associate Director for the Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family, and Youth, describes marriage as a vocation: “a way that God calls people to become holy.” This calling, concretized in the Sacrament of Matrimony, results in a marital bond that “is an image of how Christ loves his Church.”

So how can you teach your kids about the importance of the Sacrament of Matrimony? Especially when cultural and political changes appear to deemphasize its social and moral significance?

Tell them it’s like chocolate milk. That’s how Texas parents Adam and Lerin Wheeless explained the sacrament to their then-six-year-old daughter. At her blog, “Beautiful Chaos,” Lerin described Adam’s metaphor: “When you make chocolate milk, you combine two things: chocolate and milk…Could you decide to take the chocolate out of the milk again?”

After their daughter denied such a possibility, Adam continued: “Well, when you get married, God does the same thing. When we stand before the altar in Church and exchange our vows, the two become one, a new creation.”

You can’t un-make a valid, sacramental marriage, just as you can’t un-make chocolate milk. And the most meaningful way to communicate the immense value of that new creation is to strengthen your own.

A healthy, lifelong commitment requires a focus on communication and conflict resolution. Programs such as Worldwide Marriage Encounter, the largest pro-marriage movement in the Catholic Church, teach couples these necessary techniques.

Built entirely around private sharing between a husband and wife, Worldwide Marriage Encounter retreats help participants rediscover the person they fell in love with. Karen Seaborn, currently serving as Worldwide Marriage Encounter United States leadership along with her husband Scott, describes the experience as a conversion. “Many couples truly do fall in love with each other again,” she says. “They learn to listen to each other in a new way.”

Children need to know how special the marriage bond is, and their parents’ witness communicates that more powerfully than any other. Invest in your marriage, and you deepen the bond that sustains your family. You may never hear a “thank you,” but you can be sure your kids will benefit from that gift for the rest of their lives.

Fr. Francis Hoffman, also known as Fr. Rocky, still remembers the gift his parents gave him the day he was confirmed: a heavy silver crucifix delivered in a fancy case.  Now the Senior Director of Mission, Programming, and Development at Relevant Radio and a priest of Opus Dei, Fr. Rocky was just a tiny fifth grader when he received that memorable gift.  But the sacredness of the gift, and its monetary value, gave the young Francis Hoffman the distinct impression that the day was special.
Father Rocky does remember other details about his confirmation day—the red gowns students wore symbolizing the Holy Spirit, a holy card sent by a seminarian friend of the family, a fancy dinner in his honor.  But this crucifix stands out in his memory as the most prominent indication of the importance of the sacrament of Confirmation, although he didn’t fully understand the sacrament at the time.

Fr. Rocky’s anecdote provides a path for parents seeking to communicate the significance of Confirmation: share your joy and your appreciation of the sacrament’s importance.  As with other sacraments, this one merits a celebration.  But, unlike baptism or First Communion, Confirmation signals a stepping into adulthood for a child.

Confirmation marks a change in status and confers a great responsibility.  As a child becomes an adult in the Christian faith, he or she assumes the duties of sharing in the mission of Jesus (CCC 1294).  During the rite of Confirmation, we receive the “seal of the Holy Spirit,” marking “our total belonging to Christ” and “our enrollment in his service forever” (CCC 1295-1296).  Fr. Rocky says this grace-giving sign “makes you a soldier for Christ, an image of strength and loyalty.”

For the church, Confirmation is an opportunity to strengthen Christians with a great gift from God.  It serves as a catechetical benchmark, ensuring that students have encountered the basic truths of the faith by a certain age.  On a pastoral level, Confirmation gives pastors an opportunity for individual conversation with young parishioners.  It opens the door for priests to present a personal witness of the faith.

For each individual, though, the significance of the sacrament is its personal challenge.  Young people, like Fr. Rocky himself, may not immediately understand the theology of the sacrament.  But they can see it as a life-changing moment — especially with the help of their parents.
As your family talks about Confirmation, explain the sacrament as a rite of transition.  Explore the lives of the saints to help your child choose a confirmation name.  In spite of great diversity in age, culture, and mission, all saints share a common purpose: serving Jesus and his church.  To help your child understand his or her changing role as a Christian, discuss your child’s unique way of living out this shared purpose.

Fr. Rocky chose “Louis” as his confirmation name, after St. Louis the king and crusader.  To this day, he connects with Saint Louis as a spiritual model.  Allow your child to choose a saint that he or she identifies with and when a connection with a particular saint emerges, help them foster a greater devotion to that saint.  You might read various biographies of the saint or begin to ask the saint’s intercession for a particular petition.  Inspired by the identity of a saint, and aware of their parents’ appreciation of and prayers for the commission they will receive, children will be more likely to view the sacrament as a way of answering Christ’s call.

In a song about baptism, Randy Travis and Kenny Chesney croon “Down with the old man, up with the new. Raised to walk in the way of light and truth.” In simple language, these singers echo the words of many saints.

Saint Irenaeus said, “Baptism gives us the grace of new birth in God the Father, through his Son, in the Holy Spirit.” And in Romans 6:4, Saint Paul describes baptism as the way that Christians “live in newness of life.” In baptism, as the Catechism describes, we are washed clean of our sins and given the graces to love and follow God (1266).

Joe Paprocki, D.Min., is an author, catechist, and National Consultant for Faith Formation at Loyola Press. He describes the Sacrament of Baptism as a call to conversion that we must respond to over and over and over again. Each year, as we journey towards Easter with our Rite of Christian Initiation candidates, “the entire church prepares with them, seeking to once again reform our lives by rejecting sin and embracing the grace of God in Jesus Christ.” Our birth as new creations doesn’t end with our baptism; instead, Joe explains, we celebrate “the life-long dynamic of God inviting us to die to sin and our response of embracing his saving grace.”

In addition to this individual call, though, this sacrament also unites us with the living Body of Christ. As Joe describes, “we are joined at the heart – and mind – and soul – to one another and to Christ.” Born anew in Christ, we are united both to Him and to our faith community in “a profound and intimate way.”

“Profound” and “intimate” aren’t usually descriptors that suggest a kid-friendly explanation. In the case of baptism, though, the visual elements provide the entrance into the mystery. What kid doesn’t love playing with water? Children can clearly see water cleansing something dirty. Model this transformation with a rock, a boot, or a thoroughly muddy family member and explain the connection to the baptismal font. Reinforce the connection when your children dip their fingers in a holy water font. You might whisper, as a friend of mine does, “remember the waters of your baptism” as your kids bless themselves. Couple this image with a visit to an actual baptism, and children can begin to grasp both the personal and communal aspects of the sacrament.

I’m beginning to see that these Catholic treasures offer more than just teaching moments. They present opportunities to grow closer as a family. Joe Paprocki’s suggestion for explaining the Sacrament of Baptism will give you a new family tradition while also bringing home the sense, as Joe explains it, that baptism “is a bond that continues to be forged in the fire of the Holy Spirit each day of our lives.” Joe encourages celebrating each family member’s baptismal anniversary. Share a special meal, look at pictures, and talk about how God might be asking each of you to live out your baptismal call more effectively. Display your child’s baptismal candle and garment, and the whole family gets a beautiful reminder “to show forth the light of Christ and to put on Christ each and every day.”

In the rite of Baptism, catechumens or godparents must answer the question, “What do you ask of God’s Church?” The response? “Faith.” Through baptism, we step into a new life, joined in faith with God and each other.

A darkened sanctuary.  The Eucharist exposed in a golden monstrance and placed on the altar.  Stillness.  Adorers bowing in prayer.  A group of children filing in to gather near the altar.

No, this isn’t a game of “one of these things is not like the others.”  Children really do belong at Eucharistic adoration.

In Sacramentum Caritatis, Pope Benedict XVI recommended that “in their catechetical training, and especially in their preparation for First Holy Communion, children be taught the meaning and the beauty of spending time with Jesus, and helped to cultivate a sense of awe before his presence in the Eucharist.”  Eucharistic adoration involves praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament—whether it is exposed in a monstrance or reposed in the tabernacle—and it offers one special way that we, and our kids, can spend time with Jesus.

Father David Simonetti is a priest of the Archdiocese of Chicago and Relevant Radio contributor who promotes adoration.  He describes how the hustle and bustle of modern life can drown out our interior silence.  When we recover it in adoration, Father says, “we can begin to hear the Lord speak to our hearts and calm our fears, attend to our deepest needs.”  As we develop our prayer relationship with Jesus, our appreciation for all of the sacraments deepens, and we receive the graces to go out and serve God in our corner of the world.

As Father Simonetti describes, tapping into these graces can be especially important for parents.  Adoration strengthens us to fulfill our charge and allows us to teach our kids, by example, what is truly important in this world: focusing on Jesus as the source of life.

How, then, to introduce your children to quiet contemplation — a state of being that seems decidedly un-kidlike?  Find out when Eucharistic adoration occurs at your parish, and bring your kids for a brief visit.

My commitment to this approach was recently bolstered by the witness of a young mom in my own parish.  I was toddler-less at adoration; and while I knew this time was personally important, the Holy Spirit had been whispering that Junior needed a turn too.  Just in case I wasn’t listening, in walked a mother carrying a baby and leading a toddler.  They knelt down behind me, and — in a brief, whispered conversation—prayed for their special intentions and told Jesus they loved him.  Then they quietly stood up and slipped out.  The visual stuck with me as both an “Ok, I get it” moment and proof that kids can understand and adore if given the chance.

If you just aren’t sure your family can show up without chaos ensuing, or you’d like to give your child a more interactive experience, or ask your priest if he, or someone else in the parish, could lead one.  Through the guidance of a leader, children might pray, sing, listen to a talk on Scripture, or bow in silent prayer.  Apostolates such as Children of Hope offer online materials to help start a children’s Holy Hour. Father Simonetti also offers a DVD retreat called “Stay With Us Lord” that could serve as a starting point (for details email: contact@frsimonetti.com).

“May our adoration never cease.”  Pope John Paul II offered this prayer, urging us to “be generous with our time in going to meet him in adoration.”  Let’s take Pope John Paul II up on this and meet Jesus regularly, so we can hear and respond to his call in our lives.

McClure is a mom, educator, and freelance writer.  Visit her blog at http://aemwriting.com

Anne McClure
“Finding the Source and Summit”
I don’t remember the day I knew that the Eucharist was the precious body and blood of Jesus. On an intellectual level I accepted this to be the Catholic position, having attended all of the appropriate religion classes. On a spiritual level, not so much.
And then suddenly, one day, it was true. Like Saint Paul, something like scales fell from my eyes (although I certainly wouldn’t go any further in comparing myself to a saint). Without a doubt, Jesus was really present. He loved me, and he longed for me to draw near to Him.
What was missing from my reception of Communion for all those years? The relationship. Our faith is about a relationship with Jesus. The Eucharist — what Vatican II document Lumen Gentium called the “source and summit of the Christian life” — is the most tangible way we experience Jesus’ relational presence. Simply put: Through the Eucharist, we experience and deepen a relationship with Jesus.
Monsignor Stuart Swetland leads the President’s Council for Catholic Identity at Mount Saint Mary’s University — a position he accepted after doing wonders for Catholic identity at the University of Illinois.
Monsignor Swetland identifies relationship as the purpose of all our Catholic traditions; with the Eucharist first and foremost. Because presence and communication are “the foundational realities of human relationship,” we must also seek them in our relationship with God. Monsignor points out that God communicates through Christ and His teachings, but, because we are bodily beings, “God becomes present to us through the sacramental life.” The Eucharist allows us to really draw near to our God.
If, as Monsignor suggests and I experienced, “the real presence is a meaningless fact unless you have a relationship with Christ,” how do you get that relationship? Monsignor’s advice: “Turn. Quit running. Turn and say, ‘Ok, I want to be your friend.’”
When I turned and quit running, my entire understanding of my life and my faith changed. If you do the same, your family will notice — whether it’s a sudden change or a renewed effort. But how to explain? Maybe you don’t have the words to share this mysterious relationship with your kids. You’re not alone. At some stages, words seem futile. (This coming from a woman whose toddler frequently asks, “Me cracker?” in the Communion line).
If words aren’t there yet, remember that actions usually speak louder anyway. This week, bring the family to church on a day you normally wouldn’t. Sit down in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Pray. Next week? Repeat.
You’ll want to pre-teach this experience if it’s new to your kids. Explain what they will see, smell, hear, and do: “Jesus will be in the tabernacle. We will sit or kneel and quietly say ‘I love you Jesus’” — that sort of thing. Establishing expectations for church behavior will eliminate (or at least minimize!) mad dashes for the altar or attempts to bathe in the baptismal font; and these quick visits to Jesus’ house will help you all to open the doors of your hearts and let Him in.
Saint Augustine heard God tell him, “I am the food of the fully grown; grow and you will feed on me.” If we want our children to feed on God as they grow, we have to make the Eucharist the source and summit of our own lives and embrace Jesus’ surprising offer to draw near to Him.
Anne McClure is a mom, educator, and freelance writer. Visit her blog at http://aemwriting.com.